ReThinking: What we’re getting wrong about mental health with RaQuel Hopkins
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
In this powerful episode of Rethinking, organizational psychologist Adam Grant sits down with therapist and capacity expert Raquel Hopkins, who has become a viral sensation for her refreshing take on mental health. (02:34) Hopkins challenges the current mental health discourse by arguing that we've overcorrected from stigmatizing mental health to using it as a shield from personal responsibility. She introduces her concept of "capacity" - focusing not just on coping but on what we can produce in terms of wisdom, consistency, and growth. (00:58) The conversation explores how avoidance, rather than trauma itself, becomes the biggest barrier to personal development, and why building identity around wounds prevents true healing.
- Main Theme: Moving from protective mental health approaches to capacity-building frameworks that emphasize personal responsibility, growth, and facing life's challenges rather than avoiding them.
Speakers
Adam Grant
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist, bestselling author, and professor at Wharton School. He's known for his work on motivation, generosity, and original thinking, and hosts the popular TED podcast "Rethinking." Grant is recognized for his evidence-based approach to workplace psychology and human behavior.
Raquel Hopkins
Raquel Hopkins is a therapist and self-proclaimed "capacity expert" who works full-time in HR while building a massive social media following. She went from 3,000 to nearly 500,000 followers in just a few months by sharing bold perspectives on mental health that challenge popular narratives. Hopkins focuses on helping people build capacity rather than just cope, emphasizing personal responsibility and growth over comfort.
Key Takeaways
Mental Health Should Build Capacity, Not Just Comfort
Hopkins challenges the prevailing approach to mental health by distinguishing between coping and capacity building. (06:42) While coping helps people manage difficult situations, capacity focuses on what you can produce - wisdom, personal responsibility, and consistency. She argues that modern mental health discourse has become too focused on making people feel better rather than helping them become better people. This approach requires facing adversity rather than avoiding it, as true growth comes from navigating challenges rather than being shielded from them.
Avoidance Is the Biggest Barrier to Growth
One of Hopkins' most powerful insights is that (09:14) "the biggest barrier to capacity isn't stress, adversity, or even trauma - it's avoidance. Life doesn't shrink us. Our refusal to face life is what shrinks us." This perspective shifts the focus from external circumstances to our internal response to them. She explains that when we can't distinguish between normal growth challenges and real threats, our nervous system remains dysregulated because we're always on guard. The key is learning to stay in the arena of life rather than just getting into it.
Labels Should Provide Context, Not Create Ceilings
Hopkins emphasizes that diagnoses and mental health labels should be informational tools rather than identity shields. (16:54) She observes how people use labels like ADHD or anxiety disorders to deflect accountability rather than as context for better self-management. A diagnosis should inform you that you might need better systems in place, not excuse you from growth. When labels become the thing that "robs you of your potential," they've shifted from helpful context to harmful limitations.
Don't Build Your Identity Around Your Wounds
In one of her most viral posts, Hopkins warns against building identity around trauma: (26:09) "Be careful not to build your identity around your wounds because the moment you start believing your pain makes you different, you'll start protecting that pain instead of healing from it." When someone's worldview is filtered through their wounds rather than their growth, it becomes nearly impossible to hear anything beyond pain. This attachment to wounds over growth actually shuts down neuroplasticity and cognitive development.
Exercise Your Mental Health Rather Than Protect It
When asked about the worst mental health advice people receive, Hopkins responds: (31:48) "You need to protect your mental health." Instead, she advocates for "exercising" mental health like a muscle that grows stronger through appropriate challenges. This reframe moves from a defensive posture to an active, growth-oriented approach. Just as physical fitness requires progressive overload, mental fitness requires gradually increasing our capacity to handle life's demands rather than avoiding them.
Statistics & Facts
- Hopkins went from 3,000 Instagram followers in February to nearly 500,000 in just a few months. (18:18) This rapid growth occurred when she decided to be more courageous and stop watering down her messaging about mental health and personal responsibility.
- A recent meta-analysis of 24 studies involving about 7,000 people showed that trigger warnings don't reduce distress after engaging with content and don't improve learning. (14:58) In fact, they actually increase anxiety by creating alarm both before and during exposure to potentially upsetting material.
- Research suggests that only 10-20% of claimed post-traumatic growth is observable by people around us. (34:51) Grant shares this unpopular opinion that most post-traumatic growth may be imaginary, with people claiming growth to reduce cognitive dissonance rather than demonstrating real behavioral change.
