Try This Today: How to Use Gratitude to Feel Happier & Improve Your Relationships
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Podcast Summary
In this episode, Mel Robbins explores gratitude as a powerful tool to rewire your mind and body, moving beyond the "toxic positivity" approach to examine the real science behind intentional gratitude practices. (00:49) She explains how gratitude serves as an "act of defiance" against the world's constant negativity, helping you regain control of your mental state and emotional well-being. (02:04) The episode features insights from world-renowned experts including Dr. Tara Swart Bieber from MIT and Dr. Aditi Nerurkar from Harvard Medical School, who share research-backed evidence showing how gratitude practices can reduce stress, improve sleep, lower inflammation, and enhance heart health. (02:45) • The main theme centers on gratitude as an intentional mindset shift that teaches your brain to focus on what's working rather than defaulting to negativity and survival mode.
Speakers
Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins is a bestselling author and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast, with her latest book "The Let Them Theory" becoming a #1 bestseller. She has built her career around helping people develop practical tools for personal transformation and mental resilience.
Dr. Tara Swart Bieber
Dr. Tara Swart Bieber is a senior lecturer at MIT with a medical degree from Oxford University. She is a neuroscientist and brain expert who has become one of the most popular guests on The Mel Robbins Podcast for her insights into brain science and practical applications of neuroscience research.
Dr. Aditi Nerurkar
Dr. Aditi Nerurkar is a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and former medical director of Harvard Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital's Integrative Medicine Program. She is a world-renowned expert in stress management and public health, specializing in evidence-based integrative approaches to help patients manage stress and improve overall well-being.
Key Takeaways
Gratitude as Cognitive Reframing
Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explains that practicing gratitude is actually "cognitive reframing" - a scientific process that rewires your brain by shifting focus from negative experiences (which stick like "Velcro" in survival mode) to positive ones. (07:05) This practice literally changes the neural pathways in your brain, making negative experiences "slide off" rather than stick. When you write down things you're grateful for daily, studies show improvements in mood, decreased stress and burnout, and better sleep within 30, 60, and 90 days. The key insight is that this isn't just positive thinking - it's actively training your brain to notice and process positive information more effectively.
Start Your Day Before Your Brain "Kicks In"
Dr. Tara Swart Bieber reveals her morning routine where she practices gratitude immediately upon waking, before allowing her analytical brain to engage. (26:57) She starts by appreciating her silk pillowcase, pillow, and mattress before even getting out of bed, then continues with mindful breathing and savoring her morning tea ritual. This practice prevents the "sticky negativity" from taking hold first thing in the morning and sets a positive neurological foundation for the entire day. The strategy works because you're training your nervous system to default to appreciation rather than stress or worry.
Physical Health Benefits Are Real and Measurable
Research from UC San Diego studied 70 people with early-stage heart failure and found that those who kept gratitude journals showed significant improvements in stress markers, inflammation levels, and heart rate variability compared to a control group receiving standard care alone. (23:50) Higher heart rate variability correlates with better overall health, longevity, and resilience to stress. The gratitude group also experienced better sleep quality, demonstrating that this practice creates measurable biological changes, not just psychological ones. This proves gratitude is a legitimate health intervention with tangible physical benefits.
Writing Unsent Letters Creates Lasting Change
A study from Indiana University with nearly 300 people in therapy found that those who wrote one gratitude letter per week showed significantly better mental health, with reductions in depression and anxiety lasting 12 weeks beyond the writing period - even without sending the letters. (11:15) The key is being specific about what someone did, why it mattered, and how it affected you. This practice shifts your mental framework from scanning for threats to seeking connection, softening the irritability and stress that builds up from daily life pressures.
Gratitude Texts Transform Relationships
Research from Griffith University in Australia showed that people practicing daily gratitude felt less depressed and experienced more positive emotions after just two weeks, with effects lasting a month later. (33:46) The practical application involves "sprinkling" gratitude into existing text chains rather than keeping conversations purely transactional. When you interrupt logistics-focused group texts with appreciation, recognition, or celebration of others, it changes the entire tone of your relationships and creates a "contagious" positive effect that spreads to others in your circle.
Statistics & Facts
- In the Indiana University study with nearly 300 people in therapy, those who wrote one gratitude letter per week showed significantly better mental health benefits lasting 12 weeks beyond the 4-week writing period, compared to groups doing expressive journaling about stress or receiving therapy alone. (11:15)
- The UC San Diego heart study with 70 participants showed that the gratitude journaling group had measurable improvements in stress markers, inflammation levels, and heart rate variability compared to the control group receiving standard care, with higher heart rate variability correlating with better overall health and longevity. (23:50)
- In the Australian study with 122 people waiting for therapy, the gratitude group felt less depressed and reported more positive emotions after just two weeks of daily gratitude practice, with these improvements still present one month later. (33:46)
