How to Build the Life You Want (Even When You Feel Overloaded, Exhausted, & Uncertain)
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
Astronaut and bioastronautics researcher Kelly Girardi shares her extraordinary journey from working coat check at the Explorers Club to flying into space. (00:25) This episode reveals three powerful truths: rules are made to be broken, people will judge you no matter what you do, and hiding isn't strength - it's self-destruction. Kelly demonstrates how ordinary people can make themselves capable of extraordinary things by adjusting the limiter on their imagination. (05:15)
- Core theme: Transforming from ordinary to extraordinary by removing self-imposed limitations and designing your reputation through consistent excellence
Speakers
Kelly Girardi
Kelly Girardi is a bioastronautics researcher and director of human spaceflight operations at the International Institute for Astronautical Sciences. She first flew on a science mission to space in 2023 and is headed back up in 2026 to lead her second research mission. Kelly has completed more than 150 microgravity research flight campaigns, including work with MIT and the National Research Council of Canada. Time Magazine recently named her to their top 100 creators list, and she has built a global audience of more than 2 million followers.
Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins is a bestselling author, podcast host, and motivational speaker. Her book "The Let Them Theory" has been a #1 New York Times bestseller for 37 straight weeks and has sold almost 7 million copies worldwide. She's known for helping people break through self-imposed limitations and create positive change in their lives through practical, research-backed strategies.
Key Takeaways
Design Your Reputation Intentionally
Kelly reveals a genius strategy she's used throughout her career: writing down the adjectives she wants colleagues to think about her, then putting in the work to make those behaviors true. (13:17) Even when working coat check, she wrote down words like "attention to detail," "responsible," and "professional," then reinforced these qualities through her actions. This approach allows you to reverse-engineer success by starting with the end reputation in mind and working backward to inform your daily behavior. The key is applying this level of excellence wherever you are now, because where you are now is leading you somewhere.
Change Your Approach, Not Your Goal
When facing setbacks, Kelly's philosophy is crystal clear: "when I hit a brick wall, I am changing my approach. I'm not changing my goal." (58:20) This mindset applies whether dealing with career obstacles or personal challenges like her IVF journey. After a devastating miscarriage, she didn't abandon her goal of expanding her family - she changed her protocol for the next attempt. This resilience through "the ups, the downs, the plateaus, the decades maybe where it feels like nothing happens" is what separates those who achieve extraordinary things from those who give up after the first failure.
Ask "Why Not Me?" to Remove Self-Imposed Limitations
Kelly trains her inner monologue to ask "why not me?" when she sees extraordinary achievements. (57:08) This isn't ego-driven entitlement, but rather "the quiet confidence of if I work hard enough for long enough, why not me?" This blend of humility and confidence has given her permission to go after her entire vision board rather than limiting herself to one quadrant at a time. When you see someone doing something extraordinary, remember that they were once ordinary too - the only difference is they got started.
Sharing Struggles Doesn't Make You a Burden
One of Kelly's biggest revelations from sharing her IVF journey publicly was learning that "sharing your struggles does not make you a burden to the people who care about you." (52:59) She discovered that people who care about you are actually waiting for the opportunity to show up and support you. By sharing her fertility challenges, miscarriage, and ongoing treatments transparently, she found an incredible community of support while also helping others feel less alone in similar struggles. Suffering in silence isn't strength - it's self-destruction.
Focus on What Energizes vs. What Drains You
When Kelly doesn't have a clear direction for her next reinvention, she practices a powerful form of introspection: understanding what drains her energy versus what energizes her. (63:34) This helps her decide where to spend her energy and remove paths that feel wrong. She pays attention to what gets her excited when she's lying awake at night - what sparks inspiration and motivation. By slowly clarifying what fills her cup on a daily basis, she can navigate toward her next big dream while removing energy drains from her life.
Statistics & Facts
- Kelly has completed more than 150 microgravity research flight campaigns, working with prestigious institutions like MIT and the National Research Council of Canada. (03:13)
- During microgravity research flights, scientists get about 20-22 seconds of weightlessness during each free-fall period, which Kelly used to study everything from fluid dynamics to human health. (18:11)
- Kelly has built a global audience of more than 2 million followers and was recently named to Time Magazine's top 100 creators list. (03:48)
