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Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
In this energetic episode of Tea with Gary Vee 94, Gary Vaynerchuk delivers an unfiltered morning session tackling fear, insecurity, and the mindset that separates winners from those currently losing. (01:00) He emphasizes that "you're not a loser, you're just losing" while discussing how fear has become the ultimate weapon used by politicians, parents, and bosses to control people. (03:34) The conversation spans from practical business advice about Facebook ads for local businesses to deeper philosophical discussions about parenting, accountability, and the rising importance of emotional intelligence in an AI-dominated world. (14:33)
Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur, five-time New York Times bestselling author, and the CEO of VaynerMedia, a full-service digital agency. He's also the creator of VeeFriends, an intellectual property company building a universe of 250 characters that he describes as "Pokemon meets Marvel meets Sesame Street." With over 15 years of experience in digital marketing and content creation, Gary has built multiple successful businesses and is known for his direct, no-nonsense approach to entrepreneurship and personal development.
Gary explains how fear has become the primary tool used by authority figures to control people. (03:34) He argues that politicians, parents, and bosses weaponize fear because it's incredibly effective at controlling behavior. The context reveals that many people prefer staying in their "bubble of delusion with their fear" rather than addressing the truth about their circumstances. This insight is crucial because it helps explain why so many people remain stuck in unfulfilling situations - they're being controlled by fear rather than motivated by hope and optimism.
One of the most powerful reframes Gary offers is the distinction between being a loser versus currently losing. (29:11) He states emphatically that "there's not one loser on earth, there's just people that are currently losing." This perspective shift is transformative because it removes the permanent label of failure and instead frames challenges as temporary circumstances. Gary uses sports analogies, referencing dramatic comebacks in fighting and football to illustrate that the game is never over until it's actually over.
Gary predicts that as AI takes over mundane tasks, emotional intelligence and human management skills will become increasingly valuable. (14:36) He envisions a future where companies will have "35 people using AI with the power of 400 people" who will need managers with strong emotional intelligence to maintain effectiveness and culture. This insight is actionable because it suggests professionals should invest heavily in developing their people skills, leadership abilities, and emotional intelligence rather than competing with AI on technical tasks.
Gary addresses a critical parenting issue where well-meaning parents are actually harming their children by preventing them from experiencing loss and failure. (06:20) He explains that children who avoid games because they don't want to lose are showing signs of insecurity, while children who cry when they lose but want to play again are displaying winner mentality. The key insight is that adversity and losing are essential for building the resilience needed to succeed in adult life.
Gary redefines success by asking listeners to rate their morning happiness on a scale of 0-10, where 10 means waking up grateful and anxiety-free. (39:43) He argues that true success is "waking up with something between a seven and ten" to that happiness question, not achieving straight A's or accumulating material possessions. This reframe is powerful because it shifts focus from external validation and achievements to internal well-being and contentment.