Roxie Nafousi: Struggle With Low Self-Worth & No Confidence? (Use This Life-Changing 3-Step Method!)
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
In this deeply personal episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty reunites with bestselling author Roxie Nafousi to explore the often misunderstood world of confidence. Rather than the loud, performative version many imagine, Roxie defines true confidence as "knowing that you are enough exactly as you are" and being able to walk into any room unapologetically yourself without worrying what others think afterward. (04:21)
- Core discussion centers around redefining confidence from the inside out, breaking free from external validation addiction, and implementing eight practical steps to build genuine self-worth
Speakers
Jay Shetty
Host of the On Purpose podcast, former monk, and bestselling author dedicated to making healing accessible to everyone. Jay brings his signature blend of ancient wisdom and modern practicality to help millions become happier, healthier, and more healed.
Roxie Nafousi
Bestselling author of "Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life" and her new book "Confidence: Eight Steps to Knowing Your Worth." Roxie has transformed her personal journey from addiction and severe self-loathing into a mission to help others unlock their fullest potential through practical confidence-building strategies.
Key Takeaways
Master Your Inner Voice Through Your Higher Self
Roxie introduces a powerful daily practice: writing "a motivational message from my higher self" each morning. (24:03) This isn't just positive affirmations—it's about accessing the best version of yourself and asking "What would my higher self do?" before every decision throughout the day. Your higher self is your most empowered version, the person you'd be one year from now if all fears and doubts were set aside. Practical Example: Before responding to a difficult email, pause and ask what your most empowered self would write—this simple question can transform how you show up in challenging situations.
Stop Seeking Universal Approval
One of the most liberating realizations is that nobody on earth is universally liked—not even the most admired celebrities or leaders. (42:03) Roxie shares four essential truths: nobody thinks about you as much as you think they do, you never really know what people are thinking, you can't please everyone, and most rejection isn't personal but about energetic mismatches. When you stop trying to be everyone's cup of tea, you free yourself to be authentically you while still being kind and respectful. Practical Example: When someone doesn't respond warmly to you at a networking event, instead of spiraling into self-doubt, remind yourself that you're simply not an energetic match—it's not about your worth.
Distinguish Between Self-Awareness and Self-Criticism
The difference lies entirely in intention. (19:47) Self-criticism sounds like "You're such an idiot, why did you do that?" while self-awareness asks "That wasn't your best, but how can we improve for next time?" Think of how you'd teach a child a new skill—you wouldn't berate them for mistakes. The same compassionate approach should apply to yourself. Practical Example: After making a mistake in a presentation, instead of mentally attacking yourself, pause and kindly analyze what happened and what you can learn for future presentations.
Celebrate Your Everyday Qualities
Move beyond celebrating only CV-worthy achievements and start recognizing your unique everyday qualities. (102:18) Are you the friend who always brings snacks? The one who gets everyone out the house on time? The person who offers fresh perspectives during difficult conversations? These seemingly small qualities make you multifaceted and wonderful. One powerful question to ask yourself daily: "Where in my day did I react better than I would have five years ago?" Practical Example: Write down three everyday qualities that make you uniquely you, then celebrate one small win from today—maybe you handled a stressful call with grace or made a colleague laugh during a tough meeting.
Understand That Confidence Requires Present-Moment Worth
People often believe external achievements will bring confidence—getting rich, famous, married, or promoted. (60:54) But you can have all these things and still feel insecure because they don't address the internal belief system. True confidence requires feeling loved, valued, and worthy now, so that when you achieve your goals, you can actually enjoy them. The emotional attachment to "I will be enough when..." keeps people trapped in perpetual dissatisfaction. Practical Example: Instead of waiting until you get that promotion to feel valuable, practice seeing your current contributions at work and acknowledging your worth in your present position.
Statistics & Facts
- When Roxie asks audiences of thousands of people "who here can honestly say they are completely free from self doubt, insecurity, or feelings of low self worth," not one person raises their hand, demonstrating that lack of confidence is a universal human experience. (13:04)
- Roxie conducted workshops and webinars for two years with her camera turned off due to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), showing how anxiety disorders can significantly impact professional performance even when someone appears successful. (68:53)
- Body dysmorphic disorder affects the face as well as the body and is actually a form of OCD—an anxiety disorder involving obsessive thoughts about perceived flaws and compulsive behaviors like mirror checking or seeking reassurance. (72:28)
