The Strain Every Entrepreneur’s Spouse Feels
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
In this deeply personal episode of Next Level Pros, Daryl sits down with his wife Joanna for a candid conversation about marriage, entrepreneurship, and raising four daughters while building multiple businesses. (00:51) Joanna shares her perspective on the unique challenges of being married to a "chronic entrepreneur" - from supporting business ventures while managing household responsibilities to finding her own identity amidst constant change. The couple discusses how they've navigated 19 years of marriage through multiple business ventures, relocations, and the evolution from young parents to seasoned partners who've learned to embrace their differences as strengths rather than weaknesses.
- Main Theme: How entrepreneurship impacts family relationships and the strategies needed to maintain strong marriages while building businesses and raising children.
Speakers
Daryl Kelly
Daryl is a serial entrepreneur who has built multiple successful companies, including several in the solar industry with valuations reaching $200 million. He's the host of Next Level Pros podcast and has experience in door-to-door sales, having started his entrepreneurial journey after graduating college during the 2008 market crash when traditional employment opportunities were scarce.
Joanna Kelly
Joanna has been married to Daryl for 19 years and is the mother of four daughters in different educational stages - college, high school, middle school, and elementary. She has supported Daryl through multiple business ventures and relocations, while developing her own interests in interior design, fitness, and creating a strong family culture through their mission statement and core values.
Key Takeaways
Embrace the Pendulum Swing Philosophy
Joanna shares a powerful mental framework for handling life's inevitable ups and downs. (33:42) When experiencing particularly difficult moments, she reminds herself that "because I felt that low in that experience, I'm gonna feel a high from that experience." This philosophy helped her through challenges like finding a new doctor after a harsh rejection, where the painful experience led her to discover an amazing, supportive physician. The pendulum swing applies to parenting too - when kids are arguing intensely, within hours they're often laughing and being best friends again.
Create Systems for Connection During Busy Seasons
The couple has developed practical strategies to maintain connection despite entrepreneurial demands. (58:03) They work out together in the mornings and take car rides together when driving kids to activities, using travel time as connection opportunities. Daryl makes a point to ask "What can I help you with today?" which allows Joanna to communicate needs without feeling like a burden. They also established boundaries around when to communicate - during Daryl's door-to-door sales days, Joanna wouldn't call during work hours unless it was urgent, allowing him to focus while knowing she had his attention when needed.
Practice the "Unlimited Thinking" Approach to Problem-Solving
Their transformation of Vegas trips illustrates a powerful creativity principle. (37:15) The first trip was planned around "not spending any money," resulting in exhaustion and disappointment. Years later, they created a list of "if money was no object" ideas - helicopter rides, penthouse suites, shows. While they didn't do everything on the list, the exercise opened their creativity to find middle-ground options like jumping off the Stratosphere and seeing shows. This framework removes artificial limitations and generates innovative solutions that wouldn't emerge under restrictive thinking.
Regularly Renegotiate Your Relationship
Marriage requires constant adaptation as circumstances change. (50:19) Joanna emphasizes that "you have to renegotiate your relationship" because "what she needs is different and I might not be aware of it. What I need is different and she might not be aware of it." They use arguments as opportunities to identify what's not working and create new systems. For example, after hosting events at their home, they established that cleanup must happen immediately rather than waiting days, because Joanna has to live in the space daily. These ongoing negotiations prevent couples from "falling apart" due to unaddressed changing needs.
Focus on Character Protection Over Criticism
Joanna has never spoken poorly about Daryl to others, including their children - something their daughter Evelyn specifically noticed and appreciated. (20:40) Her reasoning is practical: when she shares frustrations with others, "they don't ever hear the resolution. They just hear that I'm angry." While she and Daryl move past conflicts, friends and family members remain stuck on the negative information without seeing the resolution. This practice protects both Daryl's reputation and their relationships with others, while modeling positive conflict resolution for their children.
Statistics & Facts
- The couple has moved 3-4 times within 5-6 years during their early entrepreneurial journey, with each child being born either right before a move or in a new location for a business venture. (10:51)
- They have four daughters currently in four different schools - one in college, one in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary school, representing every major educational stage simultaneously. (01:32)
- Daryl graduated college in 2008 during the market crash, when traditional job opportunities were severely limited, which pushed him toward entrepreneurship out of necessity rather than choice. (09:03)
