#1021 - Louise Perry & Mary Harrington - The Performative Male Epidemic
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
This Modern Wisdom episode features Chris Williamson discussing the complexities of modern relationships with Louise Perry (author of "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution") and Mary Harrington (columnist and author of "Feminism Against Progress"). The conversation explores the dramatic decline in sexual activity among Americans and its cultural implications, examining how technology, social media, and changing gender dynamics are reshaping romantic relationships. (00:55)
- Main themes include declining sexual activity rates, the emergence of "performative males" and "Lububu men," the impact of smartphones on relationship formation, and how political movements differently appeal to masculine and feminine psychological preferences
Speakers
Louise Perry
Louise Perry is a writer, Press Officer for the campaign group We Can't Consent To This, and author of "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution." She hosts the podcast Made in Mother Matriarch and is currently working on a second book focused on birth rates. Perry is known for her feminist critique of hookup culture and her analysis of how modern sexual norms affect women.
Mary Harrington
Mary Harrington is a writer, columnist at UnHerd, and author of "Feminism Against Progress." She writes regularly on her Substack at maryharrington.co.uk and is currently working on a book about politics after literacy, examining how internet culture has transformed political discourse. Harrington offers a unique perspective on feminism from a more traditional, conservative viewpoint.
Key Takeaways
The Paradox of Modern Sexual Liberation
Despite living in what many consider the most sexually liberated era in history, Americans are actually having record-low amounts of sex. (00:55) Only 37% of American adults have sex weekly, down from 55% in 1990. This counterintuitive trend suggests that cultural acceptance of casual sex doesn't necessarily translate to people actually having more sexual encounters. The decline likely stems from multiple factors including delayed marriage, increased social isolation, and the rise of digital entertainment that competes with real-world relationship formation.
The Rise of "Limbic Capitalism"
David Courtwright's concept of "limbic capitalism" explains how modern companies profit by hijacking our primitive drives and redirecting them away from healthy behaviors toward consumption. (06:24) This includes everything from junk food to pornography to social media platforms designed to keep us scrolling instead of forming real relationships. The most profitable innovations increasingly target our basic biological drives, potentially explaining why people are less likely to engage in activities like reproduction and relationship-building that require effort and delayed gratification.
The Lububu Male Phenomenon
A new archetype has emerged - the "Lububu man" - characterized by flaccid presentation, tote bags, matcha drinks, and an overly feminized aesthetic that may be a post-Me Too adaptation. (25:25) These men represent what happens when male behavior overcorrects in response to cultural messages about toxic masculinity. However, research suggests this approach is counterproductive - studies show that women's stated preferences for attractiveness are poor predictors of actual mating success, while male intimidation ratings (how threatening men appear to other men) are highly correlated with sexual success.
The Importance of Social Scaffolding
Traditional relationship formation relied heavily on social networks - extended family, community connections, and trusted intermediaries who could vouch for people's character and compatibility. (59:00) The decline of these social structures has left individuals to navigate dating through apps and cold approaches, which lacks the safety and context that traditional systems provided. This explains why many eligible people remain single despite technology supposedly making it easier to meet others - the absence of trusted social intermediaries makes it harder to form meaningful connections.
Women's Political Alignment Follows Maternal Instinct
Women's political preferences aren't inherently left-wing but rather follow protective maternal instincts toward whichever group is framed as vulnerable children needing care. (127:00) Currently, this manifests as support for refugees and marginalized groups, but Perry and Harrington predict this could easily flip if actual children are perceived as threatened. Having children yourself appears to be a major factor - childless women are more likely to extend maternal energy toward abstract causes, while mothers focus protection on their own offspring first.
Statistics & Facts
- Only 37% of American adults have sex weekly in current times, representing a dramatic decline from 55% in 1990. (00:55) This statistic challenges assumptions about sexual liberation leading to more sexual activity.
- People with Norman surnames (like Grosvenor) are still more likely to be wealthy today than those with Saxon surnames (like Smith or Cooper), demonstrating how the Norman conquest created a racialized caste system that persists after 1,000 years. (55:55)
- 65% of men between ages 18-29 believe guys can have their reputations destroyed just for speaking their mind, with 85% of young Trump voters agreeing with this statement. (101:09) This reflects post-Me Too anxieties about male expression and behavior.
