Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Tools For Navigating Grief That Will Bring You Comfort When Nothing Else Can Ft. Kate Cassidy & Taylor Hill
Timestamps are as accurate as they can be but may be slightly off. We encourage you to listen to the full context.
Podcast Summary
This powerful episode of On Purpose brings together profound conversations about grief, loss, and healing from four remarkable guests during the holiday season. Jay Shetty weaves together stories from Kate Cassidy who lost her boyfriend Liam Payne, Nicole Avant who experienced her mother's tragic death, Karan Johar reflecting on his father's cancer diagnosis, and Taylor Hill discussing miscarriage and pet loss. (02:16)
- Main theme: Understanding that grief manifests uniquely for each person and learning to carry love forward in new ways rather than "getting over" someone
Speakers
Jay Shetty
Host of the #1 health and wellness podcast "On Purpose," Jay Shetty is a former monk turned purpose-driven entrepreneur and thought leader. He helps millions of people live with greater meaning and mindfulness through his content and coaching.
Kate Cassidy
Kate Cassidy recently lost her boyfriend Liam Payne in a tragic accident and has been open about her grief journey. She shares her experience of finding healing through small rituals and recognizing signs from loved ones who have passed.
Nicole Avant
Nicole Avant is an author and former U.S. Ambassador to the Bahamas whose mother was tragically killed in her own home. She has written about choosing forgiveness and faith over bitterness while honoring her mother's 81-year legacy.
Karan Johar
Karan Johar is a renowned Indian filmmaker and producer who lost his father to cancer. He emphasizes the importance of open communication with parents and had meaningful final conversations during his father's ten-month battle with the disease.
Taylor Hill
Taylor Hill is a model who has experienced multiple forms of grief including miscarriage and the loss of her beloved dog Tate. She advocates for validating all types of loss and the importance of patient, supportive friendships during difficult times.
Key Takeaways
Trust Your Gut and Create Small Daily Rituals
Kate Cassidy emphasizes that grief comes in unpredictable waves and the best approach is to trust your instincts about what you need. (04:14) She found healing not in grand gestures but in maintaining simple daily activities like walking, baking, or going to a Pilates class. These small rituals helped her headspace and provided structure during chaotic emotional times. Rather than forcing a rigid schedule, she recommends taking just one meaningful activity per day to create stability while allowing time for your mind to rest and heal.
Embrace and Validate All Forms of Grief
Taylor Hill powerfully advocates that grief from losing a pet or experiencing miscarriage deserves the same time, space, and energy as any other loss. (53:56) She emphasizes that dismissing someone's grief because "it's just a dog" or minimizing pregnancy loss is harmful and wrong. Every connection that brought love and meaning deserves to be mourned fully. The goal isn't to "get over" loss but to heal from it and find peace - two completely different processes that require patience and understanding from both the griever and their support system.
Choose Forgiveness as Freedom, Not Excusing
Nicole Avant demonstrates that forgiveness after tragedy isn't about condoning what happened or making excuses. (22:44) Instead, it's about refusing to let anger, shame, doubt, and fury sink you. She consciously chose to cast off these burdens because holding onto them would have given others the power to destroy her life. This type of forgiveness is an act of self-preservation and strength, allowing you to maintain faith and hope for tomorrow while still acknowledging the reality of what occurred.
Communicate What Matters Before It's Too Late
Karan Johar's experience with his father's ten-month battle with cancer taught him the invaluable lesson of open communication. (32:34) During this period, they had conversations about life, death, regrets, achievements, and family relationships that they had never discussed before. This honest dialogue gave Karan complete closure and no unanswered questions when his father passed. He actively encourages people to speak today about problems, resentments, or parental trauma because communication is the solution to every relationship issue, and tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Focus on the Life Lived, Not Just the Loss
Nicole Avant shares a transformative perspective shift recommended by TD Jakes: choosing whether to focus on her mother's tragic last five minutes or her beautiful 81 years of life. (26:39) This wasn't a one-time decision but a daily choice to change "but" to "and" - acknowledging that the death was shocking and terrible AND celebrating the beauty of how her mother lived. This allows you to move through life carrying both the trauma and the joy, the shock and the celebration, rather than being consumed by only the painful ending.
Statistics & Facts
- Nearly one in three adults struggle with prolonged grief after the loss of a loved one, and during the holidays, that weight can feel even heavier. (02:20)
- Between ten and twenty percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, though many women report their grief is not validated or supported by others. (42:01)
- Approximately 140 million babies are born worldwide each year, as Pharrell Williams reminded Nicole Avant when discussing the continuity of life. (18:14)
